The Recurring Nightmare

Former Leeds United goalkeepers Scott Carson and Paul Robinson will no doubt be suffering further sleepless nights after England were today paired with Croatia in the qualifying draw for the 2010 World Cup in South Africa.

With both players having made catastrophic errors against Slaven Bilic's side the new England boss, whoever he may be, will have to ensure that finding the right man to fill the sticks for the campaign is one of the most pressing priorities of a job that is looking increasingly more of a poisoned chalice than a top job in world football.

Alongside their Euro 2008 nemesis, England will also face trips to unfashionable potential banana skins in Ukraine, Belarus, Kazakhstan and Andorra. And with only the group winner guaranteed to qualify for the finals, the FA's 'root and branch' reform of the national game will need to yield some immediate results.

Strangely Croatia's Head Coach and mastermind of England's downfall, Bilic, is apparently 'not happy' at being thrown together again with the Three Lions. ''Everyone in Croatia was saying 'give us England again' but I wanted to avoid England'', he said. ''It's a very, very hard draw because they are by far the best team from the second pot. The only team I wanted to avoid was England''.

Whether or not his comments were made 'tongue in cheek' are not clear, but the FA may well consider that the best chance of toppling Croatia may come from poaching their Head Coach. So how about it Slaven? Fancy the England job? Failing that we could always go for an icon of one of our other Group Six opponents Kazakhstan, surely even Borat would prove to have more talent and guile than McClaren.